I Hate Yard Work

Most of you that have read this blog for—wow, over three years now, who’d have guessed—know that there is one major bane in my life. Mowing the yard and other lawn work. As I’ve stated before, if the Lord comes back if I’m working the weedeater, I’m in huge trouble.

There have been a dearth of stories about this on the blog, though, because for the past few years, I’ve had it fairly easy. My parents hired someone to do the yard in ’06, since I was still recovering from my bout with Guillian-Barre. They continued the service in ’07, reasoning that I wouldn’t really have the time with a new baby arriving.

But when they asked if I wanted to have it done this year, I said I could handle it. One, because they’ve done so much for the family already, so anytime I can save them a little time, money or hassle, it’s a good thing. Two, because it and softball are the only exercise I get. I’d like to think of a third, but none come to mind.

The first few times I mowed the yard this year were unremarkable. They actually were cooler than normal days or cloudy days or breezy days, days where it wasn’t one of Dante’s circles to be out taking care of things. I even stopped the practice of mowing one yard one day, one the next as I was able to take care of both the front and the back at the same time.

That all came to a screeching halt about a month ago.

First off, it was a blisteringly hot day when I got out to mow. Our office started working four ten-hour days with Friday off this summer, so it was a Friday morning but it was already reaching 90 at least.

For a while now, the mower handle, if you will, had been acting up. Where the bar you hold to push the mower attached actually to the mower, one side (the right) would drop so far when turning that you almost had to be bent over double to get it to turn. Something that is slightly annoying when the weather is good, but turned into a dealbreaker that day, as I was able only to get the back and side yards done before feeling nauseous.

I went back out Saturday morning to try to get the front yard done. As I pulled the mower out of the garage and tried to get it started, though, the left side bar attachment came loose.

This, of course, is a problem, because it’s darn hard to push a mower when only half your handle is attached. Surprisingly for me, though, I didn’t just give up and use that as an excuse not to mow. No, I looked for that ultimate fixing tool.

So, after wrapping a good chunk of duct tape around the attachment section, I started off. That held for a while before coming loose again. More duct tape. Go again. Come loose again. Lather, rinse, repeat. After about five times of this, I looked at the fact that most of the yard in front of the house was done and called it a day.

My neighbor and handyman Jon was able to do some redneck engineering and get the mower fixed on a temporary basis, so the next weekend I got out there to try to mow the rest of the yard, which of course had grown up a bit since it had rained in the intervening week.

I got some of it done until I got into the real tall stuff. I would have to push forward a mower length, then bring it back. Forward, back. Then the mower would kick off because it was clogged with wet grass. Start up, do it again. Finally, the mower wouldn’t restart and I put it away, still with a section of grass not done.

The next time I get out to cut the grass, I do the whole front yard then start on the now ridiculously long portion. Things are going well. The grass is dry and is cutting fairly easily, given its height. Finally, the mower runs out of gas. No problem, I go get the gas can and put some in. But then, when I go to start it up, it won’t. I let it sit for a while, then try again. Nothing.

The last time I got out there after mowing the back yard, it was another forward/back/die type of outing. Unfortunately, that time I was doing it on a day after work, so after a while I had to give it up so as to get the dinner/bath routine started.

So, if you go by my house today, you’ll see this long section of grass on the left with strange cuts into it. Perhaps next time I’ll get it all done. I’m sure I’ll take another crack at it tomorrow, if it’s dry enough. And one of these days, it’ll actually get done!